Take your Bibles with me and turn to 1 John 3. 1 John 3. We are going to talk about an important subject tonight - true Christian love.

If you remember, 1 John is written to give people assurance. It's written to help them KNOW that they are true Christians. In chapter 3 verse 1 it says:

[!bible] [1 John 3:1 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:1?translation=kjv)

1. Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.

We are the sons of God. We have been born of God. We have a new nature in us, and because we are God's sons, we are going to act differently. Verses 1-10 of this chapter is basically about how our behavior changes when we become sons of God. But in verse 10 John changes the subject. Look at verse 10 with me:

[!bible] [1 John 3:10 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:10?translation=kjv) 10. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.

Most of that verse goes with what we talked about a few weeks ago - how when we are born of God our behavior changes. We "do righteousness" but at the very end, John says neither he that loveth not his brother.

So John changes the subject from acting like a son of God to loving our new brothers and sisters.

If you want assurance of your salvation. If you want to assure yourself that you are one of God's children - how is your love life? How do you act in love towards God's children?

Look at verse 11:

[!bible] [1 John 3:11 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:11?translation=kjv) 11. For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

John is saying that from the beginning of Christianity, from the words of Christ himself, the message was "love one another."

Jesus said in John 13:35

[!bible] John 13:35 - KJV 35. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

So from the very beginning Jesus message to us is that we ought to love each other.

So that is the subject that John is going to be talking about here: how Christians should love each other.

But here is the thing: most people don't know what love is. You see all those t-shirts and banners that say "love is love." I want to go up to those people and say "really. Define it."

What is love? Is love some fuzzy feeling you have? Is love romantic intoxication?

Love may be the word used more than any other that most people don't have any idea what it means.

But for the Christian, love means something, and we are going to get to that. But before we do, we need to see what love isn't. So what John is going to do in these verses is show us three things that aren't love. And then show us what real love is.

The first thing that isn't love is murder...

Love isn't Murder

You might say..."Ok, that's the most obvious thing in the world." And you are right, but I didn't write this. John wrote this under the inspiration of the spirit.

Look at what John says immediately after he tells us Christians should love one another in verse 11:

[!bible] [1 John 3:12 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:12?translation=kjv) 12. Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him? Because his own works were evil, and his brother’s righteous.

You need to love your brothers and do you know who didn't love his brother? Cain. Cain killed his brother.

Let me tell you that the heart of the lost world goes to murder. It took one generation for us humans to go from the garden of Eden to murderer's row. Because the human heart outside of Christ runs to murder.

As bad as it is out there, as many murders as happen, there would be far more if there weren't policemen and laws and other consequences. Because humans are wicked. The heart of the lost world hates righteousness.

Remember Cain offered his offering to God and Abel offered his. They were both religious. They both were ostensibly worshipping God. But God accepted Abel's sacrifice and not Cain's. And this through Cain into a murderous rage.

So the first thing that isn't love is murder. Love isn't murder.

Seems pretty obvious. The second thing that Love isn't is a little less worse. Love isn't hate.

Love isn't hate

Look at verses 13-15 with me:

[!bible] [1 John 3:13-15 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:13-15?translation=kjv) 13. Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you. 14. We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. 15. Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

So you probably aren't a murderer. At least you probably haven't killed anyone.

(If you have, we need to talk. But give me some heads up so I can have some, um, backup with me.)

But the next line in the progression is hate and biblically speaking, hate and murder are the same sin.

John tells us here that "whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer."

That's a nod back to what Jesus said in Matthew 5:21-22:

[!bible] Matthew 5:21-22 - KJV 21. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22. But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Murder doesn't start when you are brandishing a knife thrashing it into someone or hiring a hitman. Murder starts in your heart when you allow anger to be there that shouldn't be there. It moves into your tongue when you say things about others you shouldn't. Murder is just the final fulfillment of what has been going on in your heart for awhile.

And here is the thing John wants us to understand, he wants it to be crystal clear: hate and Christian love are mutually exclusive.

You cannot love with God's love and hate other Christians. Those two things aren't going to go in the same body. They may happen for a bit, there may be a moment of anger or a moment of harsh words, but hate can't live with Christian love.

If you are living a life of hate, where you have hatred in your heart that you won't give up - that means you have not understood what Jesus did on the cross for you.

You are the unforgiving servant who is forgiven millions of dollars from his master and then goes and tries to choke out someone who works for him that owes him $50. You don't understand the magnitude of what Christ has done for you.

Murder isn't love. And Hate isn't love. Neither of those things should be in the life of a Christian.

Ok, so what is the next thing that isn't love?

Love isn't Indifference

Look at verses 16-17 with me:

[!bible] [1 John 3:16-17 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:16-17?translation=kjv) 16. Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17. But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

So here John shows us another thing that ins't really love, and now we are getting closer to home.

Real love acts. Jesus showed His real love for us not by talking about love, but by laying down His life for us and if we are going to really love others as God loved us, we have to be willing to lay down our lives for them.

When we see our brother or sister is in need, and we can do something about it and we don't, we are showing that we don't love them. We are acting in indifference.

James put it this way:

[!bible] James 2:15-16 - KJV 15. If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, 16. And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

Love that never does anything isn't really love. It might be niceness. But it isn't really love. Talk only love isn't love.

And so we've talked about three things that aren't love: murder ins't love, hate isn't love, indifference (or talk only love) ins't love.

And that brings us to the fourth thing in our progression, finally we are at

True Christian love

Look at verse 18:

[!bible] [1 John 3:18 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:18?translation=kjv) 18. My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Remember, this whole passage is about how one of the birthmarks of a true believer is the love that they have for other believers.

The world is going to hate other believers like Cain hated Abel and like the world hated Christ.

At best others are going to pay lip service to love. But Christians are commanded to love each other and not just love each other with words, but love each other with actions.

Someone said it this way:

The first law of life is self-preservation. It's in our nature to do what we have to do to stay alive. But the first law of spiritual life is self-sacrifice.

We have Christ blood flowing through us now, we have God's DNA, and we ought to be sacrificial like Christ is sacrificial.

If you are really going to love people, then you have to really love people.

Do you know what the opposite of loving in deed is? It is loving in word.

Do you know what the opposite of loving in truth is? It is loving "in tongue."

Now, that isn't always easy. In fact, it's very hard. For one, sometimes people aren't easy to love. People hurt you. People do weird things. People annoy you.

You might say "I know I'm supposed to love people, but do I have to like everyone?"

Liking people is a matter of preference. Loving people is a matter of obedience to Christ. But you can't love people if you don't at least treat them like someone you like.

It's also hard because love is hard. Remember 1 Corinthians 13:

• Love suffers long
• Love is kind
• Love doesn't envy
• Love doesn't boast (vaunteth not itself)
• Love isn't proud (is not puffed up)
• Love behaves itself
• Love isn't self-serving (seeketh not her own)
• Love is not easy to provoke
• Love refuses to think evil of people.

Biblically speaking, that is what it means to love people. To behave like that.

True Christian love is the hardest thing God calls us to and the only way it makes sense is for us to understand our position in Christ and the only way we can live like that is if we have been truly born again.

Do you love your fellow church members? I mean, do you love them?

• Would you give up a night out to help them have groceries?
• Would you be willing to swallow your pride and self-interest to help them?
• When you hear a rumor about them, will you refuse to get angry and think evil of them?

This is what we are called to. And it is one of the ultimate birthmarks of a Christian.

Three benefits

Now, let me give you three amazing benefits of loving like a Christian and I'm done.

The first benefit is

Assurance

Look at verses 19-20:

[!bible] [1 John 3:19-20 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:19-20?translation=kjv) 19. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. 20. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

When you are loving like a Christian, it gives you amazing assurance. You know you are a Christian. You know.

If everything you ever do is self-serving. Then you are lacking that assurance. But if you are acting out of Christian love for your brothers - you get amazing assurance from that.

The second benefit is found in verses 21-22:

[!bible] [1 John 3:21-22 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:21-22?translation=kjv) 21. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. 22. And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

The second thing we get when we are loving as we should is...

Answered prayer

When our heart is right in love, we can pray with confidence, knowing we are God's children and knowing God will answer our prayer.

The third benefit is...

Abiding

Verses 23-24

[!bible] [1 John 3:23-24 - KJV](https://bible-api.com/1 John+3:23-24?translation=kjv) 23. And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. 24. And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.